I am not a morning person. To put it mildly.

It takes me a good two hours to fully wake up. At least. And, no, it’s not because I have a sleep debt – the two hours to wake up is true whether or not I’m caught up on sleep.

I’m mostly non-verbal until I wake up. I’ll manage monosyllabic noises. Sometimes single words.

“Coffee?” is one of the only things I say in the morning. That means I like you enough to expend enough mental energy to offer you some of my caffeinated liquid elixir of wakefulness.

I’ve been this way since I was a kid. Since infancy, really.

Another thing I have trouble with first thing in the morning is eating. I’m a slow eater, anyway, but first thing in the morning, a bowl of cereal can take me an hour and a half to finish. But I need to eat it, because otherwise, I’ll bet hungry around 10 and very irritable. And I probably won’t realize it’s due to being hungry. Which is a recipe for work or school problems.

When I’m tired or groggy, I get quiet. My partner, by contrast, gets talkative. Fortunately, he doesn’t mind if I do monosyllabic affirmative noises instead of conversation… too much.

When I go to the gym in the morning, it works pretty well: I’m exercising when I’m normally not wanting to word anyway, and he’s not feeling like I’m ignoring him or just humoring him. Additionally, first-thing-in-the-morning grogginess is greatly reduced by exercise. Not sure if this is because the exercise gets rid of the grogginess or because the exercise happens while I’m groggy, but it works. Before dawn, nobody at the gym wants to make conversation, and the dudebros with terrible form who want to instruct a former competitive power lifter on weight lifting technique while lifting with their backs rather than their legs aren’t out yet. It works.

7 thoughts on “mornings

  1. notesoncrazy says:

    “Coffee?” is one of the only things I say in the morning. That means I like you enough to expend enough mental energy to offer you some of my caffeinated liquid elixir of wakefulness.

    That is the best and most accurate and just generally most wonderful written description of anything ever. Not just about how mornings are meh, or how coffee is mmmm, though both of those things are true, but also about how just one word in just the right context can communicate so much.

    Also, I have to admit, it made me laugh. And that always helps. Especially since I slept in today and am currently relying on text to communicate with my voice gone elsewhere as it usually is when I wake up, and I am enjoying my own elixir of wakefulness. Mmmm.

  2. I’m still working on sorting out my mornings. I develop a routine but they tend to explode on me right quick. Which is weird, because I hate when things get changed on me, yet I can’t be consistent myself. I do know I absolutely need my tea. Earl grey, two bags, milk, no sugar.

    Wait, that’s an awfully specific description of those dudebros there. They don’t sound hypothetical. Did this actually happen?

    • ischemgeek says:

      Yes, several times, in fact. In HS, I was a competitive power lifter – my record deadlift was 350lbs, and my coach wouldn’t let me go higher because I was still growing. I took a few years off due to an injury (not related to weight lifting), but I still remember the form and everything.

      When I was in undergrad, I tried to get back into powerlifting form, with an eye to eventually try out for the team once I got myself back into decent shape, but I got bothered out of the gym pretty much any time I tried to go (the dudebros just would not believe that 1, I was there to build strength and not “tone” and 2, I was there for a workout and not for “flirting” (read: harassment). Eventually, I got so sick of it, I just quit going. I was even less of a morning person then than I am now so I didn’t want to try first thing in the morning. Now, I wish I had!

      • Ah, yes. While I would neither call myself a powerlifter, nor someone with good form, I’m fairly familiar with the sort of… novelty… one apparently provides by presenting as a woman in a gym. (I word it that way because while not all of us are entirely female identified, we very rarely present to the outside world as male.) In HS people thought it was cute to switch the pin so that I was lifting much more than I set up. I had a habit of continuing my reps out of spite. It’s like: I’m heavy enough to be mocked all the time. These are leg presses. The same legs that hold me up. Guess what? Not impressed.

        But yeah, I’m horrible at taking care of my body — or even noticing I’m doing a bad job of it. And I’ve never been good at measured approaches. So eventually all that bad form combined with no warm ups caught up with me.

      • Oh, additionally, I really need to consider this morning exercise thing. Might be easier to accommodate than trying to find a free point during the rest of the day. I can’t wrap my brain around being awake enough to do that though. I can barely wrap my brain around morning showers.

  3. bjforshaw says:

    Yeah, mornings. Not good: I have my routines that I run through automatically, otherwise I’d just sit there in my dressing gown and slippers. In fact that’s what I tend to do when I don’t have to go to work. It takes me a long while to get up to speed and I can be completely uncommunicative for a couple hours.

  4. Alana says:

    I used to be a morning person. Then something happened (no idea what) and now waking up is the most difficult process. It makes life so inconvenient.

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