I am not a morning person. To put it mildly.

It takes me a good two hours to fully wake up. At least. And, no, it’s not because I have a sleep debt – the two hours to wake up is true whether or not I’m caught up on sleep.

I’m mostly non-verbal until I wake up. I’ll manage monosyllabic noises. Sometimes single words.

“Coffee?” is one of the only things I say in the morning. That means I like you enough to expend enough mental energy to offer you some of my caffeinated liquid elixir of wakefulness.

I’ve been this way since I was a kid. Since infancy, really.

Another thing I have trouble with first thing in the morning is eating. I’m a slow eater, anyway, but first thing in the morning, a bowl of cereal can take me an hour and a half to finish. But I need to eat it, because otherwise, I’ll bet hungry around 10 and very irritable. And I probably won’t realize it’s due to being hungry. Which is a recipe for work or school problems.

When I’m tired or groggy, I get quiet. My partner, by contrast, gets talkative. Fortunately, he doesn’t mind if I do monosyllabic affirmative noises instead of conversation… too much.

When I go to the gym in the morning, it works pretty well: I’m exercising when I’m normally not wanting to word anyway, and he’s not feeling like I’m ignoring him or just humoring him. Additionally, first-thing-in-the-morning grogginess is greatly reduced by exercise. Not sure if this is because the exercise gets rid of the grogginess or because the exercise happens while I’m groggy, but it works. Before dawn, nobody at the gym wants to make conversation, and the dudebros with terrible form who want to instruct a former competitive power lifter on weight lifting technique while lifting with their backs rather than their legs aren’t out yet. It works.